Group Claims Commercial Magically Distasteful

By: Moe Mack, Free Agent News Syndicate

Dublin, CA- The (Non-Fighting, Non-Drunken) Mad Celts, a group advocating for more positive portrayals of Irish-Americans in the mass media, expressed their disappointment with General Mills’ recent decision to air a Lucky Charms commercial that they claim shows the cereal’s mascot Lucky the Leprechaun being chased by two boys wanting to lynch him and take his bowl of cereal. For those who’ve been deprived of a happy-to-satisfactory childhood, Lucky Charms is a cereal known for its marshmallow shapes, including “hearts, stars and horseshoes; clovers and blue moons; pots of gold and rainbows; and [Lucky’s] red balloons!” The character himself is notorious for hoarding this cereal from children who are always in pursuit of his product.

“That was worst thing I’ve seen on TV since those stupid Guinness commercials with the guys saying ‘Brilliant’,” said Mad Celts spokesperson Maureen Mannion. “When I saw those kids with that lynching rope going after Lucky and his Lucky Charms, we just felt that we had to say something about it.”

The group, taking the initiative after larger civil rights organizations rejected their request to lead a protest, stated that they’ve received no responses from General Mills despite sending hundreds of emails and letters to General Mills regarding the commercial. Mannion also said that an organized boycott campaign against Lucky Charms and other General Mills products isn’t out of the question. Other people, however, including some individuals with Irish surnames, don’t see what all the fuss is about.

“You have to be kidding me, right,” responded a sarcastic Peter O’Bannon after being shown a copy of the commercial. “Those kids are obviously trying to use that rope to lasso that bowl of Lucky Charms away from Lucky. But I don’t blame him for running, especially from that one kid! I mean, not because he’s black, but he has that rope. Yeah! I just wanted you to know that!”

[Franky D Says: It’s a shame that many people don’t look on both sides of the wall, when it comes to ethics. This piece of fiction is an example as we have the “Mad Celts” faction thinking the worst of a cereal ad. By the way I don’t like Lucky Charms, I like Captain Crunch. Not Peanut Butter Crunch, not Crunch Berries, just plain Captain Crunch.]