Rookie Balls Sent Down

By: Moe Mack, Free Agent News Syndicate

Anaheim, CA- Manhattan’s Time Square Ball won’t be the only ball dropping after New Year’s Eve. To the delight of most NBA point guards- and the chagrin of league commissioner David Stern- the newly designed NBA basketball, introduced last June but only lasting less than half an NBA season, will become the “old” newly designed NBA basketball after that time. But this much hyped game ball, which supposedly needed no “break-in period”, might still see action in other hoop leagues.

“Sure, we wouldn’t mind using those piece of sh*t balls if the NBA hands them down to us,” said a source closely connected to the Anaheim Arsenal of the NBA’s Development League. “If our own players start bitching and moaning about them, we can always give them away at our [home] games. Either way.”

Lower level basketball programs were also less than enthusiastic about the likelihood of having the soon-to-be old, new balls donated to them by the NBA. Many of the local area college and high school teams were reluctant to discuss this issue, and one coach even talked about these balls as if they were laden with venereal diseases.

“Herpes, gonorrhea, does it really matter,” responded this high school coach, who could have given the same answer if he was asked what his local “masseuse” gave him. Unlike that coach’s recent extracurricular activities, however, this story does have a “happy ending”.

Students at the appropriately-named Ball Junior High School said that they would be more than happy to dribble, pass, and shoot a technologically-improved, yet highly misunderstood ball; even if they won’t see one like it after the eighth grade. “That would be much better than those balls we play with on the courts,” said seventh grader Reggie McConnell. “The ones that we have to play with in P.E. are always flat.”

[EDITORS NOTE: Yo what’s up everybody! Franky D here with your editor’s note. The story shows its truth value when you have interviewees cussing and making references to STD’s when discussing the NBA’s new and soon to be old basketball. I personally have used the “new” NBA basketball and to tell you the truth, it’s not that bad. The ball sticks to your hand so you’re able to measure your jumper with more accuracy, and it makes it easier for you to say “HIBACHI!” when you shoot, much like Washington Wizards point guard Gilbert Arenas says when he shoots.]