Wintertime
By: Moe Mack, Free Agent News Syndicate
“Man, forget weed, home boy. I’m going to sell oranges off the corners like the Mexicans be doing all the time,” said a local drug dealer, who insists on being identified only as “O.J.”
O.J. and other participants in the Southland’s illicit trades will already have stiff competition from Spanish-speaking immigrants who have sold the soon-to-be coveted bags of oranges off of freeway off-ramps for years. These individuals also know that the market for oranges may soon be golden.
“We’re going to be very popular this winter,” said Pedro Garza, a regular fixture along the 105 freeway off-ramps selling oranges, cherries, peanuts, roses, and other goods. “The money hasn’t poured in yet, but everyone will be driving up to me once all of the markets start raising the prices on fruits. Maybe my family and I can move out of our two bedroom apartment and buy a house!”
The police don’t expect violent rivalries to emerge between vendors, but they’re prepared for it in case it happens.
“I know most of those guys off of the freeway,” said Officer Rey Ramos of the L.A. County Sheriff’s Department. “I sometimes even buy roses from them to give to my wife and little girl. They’re mostly decent hardworking guys, but I’d hate to see them get pushed around by the bangers and dealers if their oranges suddenly become hot items. [The department] will do our best to protect them.”
However, O.J. believes that local law enforcement efforts will be futile in the event of a turf war over the potentially coveted orange off-ramps. “Dang, cuz. Pigs couldn’t stop me when I was selling weed near the Jack in the Box, and they sure ain’t stopping me from making my G’s. Besides, everyone needs their Vitamin C’s, right?”
[Franky D Says: I’m currently
on my laptop on a bus heading to Downtown