Elder Lady Arrested
for Assaulting Journalist
By: Frank D’Alessandro, Trying To Be News
(
Goldschwartz, who is better known as “Grandma
Cranky” to those who know her, is a morphine patient. Many who use medical morphine are trying to
comfort themselves before they reach the end of their lives. In between doses, morphine patients tend to
be very irritable and cranky, which explains the nickname given to
Goldschwartz.
Reporter Edward Fox was conducting a poll in
Times Square concerning whether people prefer the more conservative plastic
grocery bags to the not so environmentally friendly paper grocery bags when
Goldschwartz viciously assaulted Fox with her wooden cane, claiming that Fox
“had his way with her granddaughter”. An
off duty police officer spotted the attack and quickly phoned in the
police. The police detained Goldschwartz
briefly before returning her back to her home under the care of her Uruguayan
maid Francesca De La Cruz.
“She left when I was watching cartoons,” De La
Cruz says. “She knows she can not leave
the house because she is sick, but she always leaves.” De La Cruz is not in trouble for
Goldschwartz’s mishap, the reason was not disclosed.