It All Points to a ‘Dead End Job’

By Moe Mack, Free Agent News Syndicate

Downey, CA- They’re seen working the corner trying to seduce potential clients into buying their goods. It’s not what most of you are thinking. The vast majority of prostitutes would rather continue turning tricks than turning the giant arrows advertising messages, such as “Open House” or “Checks Cashed Here”. This is the sad fate of the sign turner, who spends each day, rain or shine, spreading the word to pedestrians and drivers desperately searching for a temporary visual stimulus before moving on with their lives.

“At least I can take classes every other day after doing this [job],” replied Diego. Diego, who requested that his last name and hourly wage information be omitted for this story, is a fortunate exception in that he is a high school graduate who is only doing this to earn extra cash while going to school. “It’s so laidback, and I can bump my mp3 player too.” He claims that “the other guy [named] Isaac” working the sign twirler job on behalf of the adjacent checking cashing building took the position shortly after he was fired from his previous job as a telemarketer.

“You can use that pendejo’s name,” Diego insisted. “I don’t [care]. That joto’s always talking…about [racial slur] this, [racial slur] that. [Forget] that pinche wedo!” So how did he get ‘pointed’ into the direction of his current part-time gig? A few months ago, Diego saw a ‘Help Wanted’ posting on the front window of the check cashing place, inquired about the vacancy, and was immediately hired by the owner because Diego was actually willing to stand still, twirl the giant arrow ad, and occasionally smile for hours at a time. He claims that it isn’t all bad.

“Last Wednesday, this hot [female] saw me and thought that she was acting really cute when she asked me where the entrance was. Of course, I had this sign with me. So, real quick, I used it to point to my fly. I thought that she’d be pissed about it. But she thought I was clever and gave me her cell phone number instead! In fact, we’re going to see Borat together after I’m done here.”

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Frank D’Alessandro here, just reminding you about the shame of playing with your giant arrow on the street, and that this story is fiction. I feel sorry for Moe Mack though, he had to go to Downey of all places to get a story to write about, and all he got was this? I should be nice and let him cover A.O.]