The Miss Adventures of Edward Fox: Getting a hair cut

By: Edward Fox, Free News Agent Syndicate

It was a beautiful Saturday morning that I got out of bed to go to the barber shop. I needed to get a hair cut really fast so I could make the matinee show at the theaters. Darn the luck, my alarm clock did not go off and I found my self running late. I jumped in my car; the destination was to the closet barber shop in my city. In the process, I had slammed my right knee on the edge of the door as I was running out. As soon as I arrived limping to the front entrance, I noticed a large crowd of people inside waiting. It struck me as a surprise to see so many people waiting in line to get a hair cut that day. To make matters worst, I found out that my favorite barber Al was out on vacation (Al was the only barber I really trusted cutting my hair).  I waited 1 hour and ½ before a barber even began to cut my hair. The person cutting my hair was a new employee. He was an old man caring a thick brown beard and looked like a rummy. I could smell the alcohol in his breath; I should have left but decided to give him a chance. The part of the hair cut process that I hated the most was noticing the other people waiting, where starring at me. Some of them looked mad, angry or would give me dirty looks. Some of the on-lookers would even begin to laugh uncontrollably. I found this to be very uncomfortable. No sooner than later, the barber finished cutting my hair. Ohh no, had I known that his right hand shakes excessively and he had been drinking a lot, I would have never sat on the barber’s chair. I came out with a bunch of bald spots on my head. The only tip I gave the barber was to ease down on the rum. I did not make it to the movie matinee and had a bad hair cut as a result.

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Although many a man has been victimized at the hands of a mediocre barber, this story is thankfully counterfeit. Foxy does want to point out that ‘rummy’ is slang for someone who has no business behind a barber’s chair because he or she is excessively buzzed on something that isn’t life!]